


Never enough

by Undreaming



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22512790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Undreaming/pseuds/Undreaming
Summary: One lifetime together isn't enough. But perhaps it doesn't have to be.
Relationships: Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger
Comments: 13
Kudos: 135





	Never enough

Who knows how much time passed? Jellicle cats are not subject to the laws of nature as other cats are. Time is relative and for Jellicle cats, the seasons change, but the merriment doesn't. If one counted the Jellicle balls, perhaps we would have a more precise idea. But who needs it?

Rum Tum Tugger and Mistoffelees didn't. No matter how many years had gone by, not much changed for them - they were still living together, bickering about their differences, hunting together and snickering at the shenanigans the Maine Coon's fanclub partook in. Its members had certainly aged, secretly given up on the hope that the unusual pair would break up, but otherwise the older cat's pelvic thrusts could still send them into a fit of squealing ecstasy. 

However, time doesn't stop, even for Jellicle cats. Mistoffelees's black coat had become interlaced with white and grey hairs, his eyes less sharp than they used to be. He still performed magic tricks for younger kittens, even took a promising protege of his own, his niece - she inherited his family's magical talents through Victoria and could definitely pass the magic knowledge on to the next generations. The tribe needed magic, even if the original conjuring cat was no longer with them. 

And Tugger...

Mistoffelees had always known that, being younger than the other tom, he would see his partner grow older and weaker. The rich mane, still as impressive as ever, had gone lighter, grey, but otherwise retained its volume. Fortunate, because otherwise the rest of the tribe could see what Misto knew from cuddling with Tugger each night - how much weight he lost, that it took him a lot of effort to maintain his casual stride. Only the mischievous gleam in his eye and the smirk Mistoffelees loved so much remained the same. 

He didn't know when exactly they started talking about the Heavyside layer. Tugger wasn't the kind of cat to prepare for eventualities, he liked to accept life as it was. He would live to the end of his days with Misto, he would proclaim as if that was the most obvious thing in the world, and that was it. On the other hand, the magician passionately argued in favor of Tugger attempting to be the Jellicle choice. Over the last year, it had become a common argument between them. 

This day was no different from others. Mistoffelees breached the topic, Tugger ignored him for a while and then he started getting defensive. After a long list of logical arguments, Tugger had just enough. 

"No and that's it! I won't parade myself around to be chosen to go away from everything I like. Are you that keen on getting rid of me?" he growled at his partner, annoyed. He just couldn't understand why Mistoffelees didn't want him there till the end, to share everything. He half expected a snide remark or an angry hiss, but his partner was surprisingly quiet. 

When he finally turned his head to look at the tuxedo cat, he gasped in surprise. The younger cat looked like he'd struck him, staring at him incredulously. "...did you think that's what it is about?" 

Tugger found himself unable to hold that hurt gaze. "Isn't it?" 

That snapped Mistoffelees out of his paralysis. "No!" he snapped before he managed to catch himself. "No, I just...oh, rats. This is going to sound so corny." 

"You can tell me." Tugger, previously at the other side of the den, as if to distance himself from the argument, crossed over to Mistoffelees and gently, as if not to startle him, touched his paw. "You can tell me anything." 

The magician sighed and hung his head down, but never moved his paw away from Tugger's. It took him a while to find the right words. "I know. I just can't bear the thought of you...not being. Of this world without you. So if knowing you are still here, knowing you are not gone for good, means I will have to endure some loneliness, then..." he trailed off. 

Tugger was silent for a moment, but then he growled in exasperation and dramatically flung himself down onto the floor. "Now you're just not playing fair! How in the Everlasting cat's name am I supposed to refuse if you put it like this?" By a barely noticeable movement at his side, he could tell that Mistoffelees joined him. 

A gentle nuzzle on his shoulder broke his will completely. "You're not. Please, Tugger. At least try." 

The older cat sighed and closed his eyes. The battle had been long and hard, but in the end, the victorious blow was dealt. "Anything for you, Misto." 

* * *

Count on Tugger not to take the standard approach - every other Jellicle was rehearsing, improving their talents and frantically thinking up was to impress the tribe leader. On the other hand, Rum Tum Tugger spent most of his days following Mistoffelees around, under the guise of preserving his energy before the grand performance. Only now and then would Misto hear him humming various tunes to warm up his vocal cords. Still, he never told his partner what exactly he planned to do for the Jellicle choice, so when he barged onto the stage with the same energy he had when they got together and sang in a raspy, but still attractive voice, surrounded by his fan club, Mistoffelees couldn't help but laugh and cheer with everyone else, even joining his mate for a short dance. It was so easy to forget your worries with Tugger around. 

But then, the Jellicle choice was made and Tugger made a choked sound when he heard his name. He looked around in confusion, as if he was expecting someone to tell him it was a joke. "I never...I never thought it would really be me. I..."

The black and white cat patted him on his shoulder. "You deserve it, Tugger. You deserve all the best things in the world. Now go, I think the whole tribe wants to have a word with you before you leave."

And they did. Some embraced him, some made fun of him going all rock star in his old age, but all wished him well in his next Jellicle life. As he finished saying his goodbyes, Tugger finally reached Mistoffelees. For a few seconds, there was an awkward silence, but then the Maine Coon gave a heavy sigh and pulled his mate into a tight, desperate embrace. No words were needed, the dampness seeping through his mane and barely noticeable shaking of the magician's shoulders said it all. "You know...one lifetime with you isn't enough," he whispered into his ear. 

Composing himself before pulling back to look Tugger in the eye, Mistoffelees stammered out "...it...it doesn't have to be." 

That caught Tugger by surprise. "What do you mean? If there is anything, any way-!" 

Mistoffelees spoke quickly now, louder than usual, but that was the least of his worries. Their time was short and he had to let Tugger know before....before. "Well...most cats are reborn very soon. They do not spend that much time in the Heavyside layer, but...what if you waited, say, a year?" He sounded hopeful, desperate. In any other moment, he would hate himself for being so undignified. "What if I followed you and we could be reborn together?" 

The Maine Coon stared at him incredulously and then nuzzled his partner's head, just out of affection and definitely not to hide the welling tears in his eyes. "How can you make sure you'll be chosen?" he asked in a hoarse voice. 

Despite the solemnness of the moment, Misto chuckled. "To be with you again? Don't underestimate the show I would put on to achieve that. And...it would be my last performance. I've always to go out with a bang." Then he became more serious. "It's just...most Jellicles use this as their chance to live differently, to experience something else. I don't think any of them would choose the same thing." 

Tugger shook his head so vigorously he almost lost his balance. "I'm not just any of them. If I was lucky enough to find my soulmate in this life, why wouldn't I jump at the chance to see him again? Misto...if you...if you'd really do it-"

With a quick peck on his lips, Mistoffelees silenced any potential objections. "Yes. Yes, I would. Without hesitation." 

That brought Tugger's cheeky grin back, and oh, Mistoffelees could not be happier. "Then that's settled," he announced loudly, pulling Misto into a hug even tighter than the previous one. "Make their jaws drop, enchant them, put a spell on them, I don't care. And if, by their immense lapse of judgment, you don't get chosen...I will wait. For two, five, twenty years if necessary. It would only mean I get to see more of your magic from above. But I'm not worried. When you set your mind on something, you always succeed." 

The magician returned the crushing embrace. "See you on the other side, love."

When they disentangled from each other and Tugger's form finally disappeared in the mystical fog, Mistoffelees allowed himself a short moment of weakness, but he quickly wiped his tears and headed back into their - well, now only his - den. He had work to do. 

* * *

Tugger's assessment was, as usual, correct. Magical Mister Mistoffelees, the original conjuring cat, spent the whole year preparing, wrapping up all loose ends and teaching his protege everything he knew. The Jellicles whispered about Mistoffelees trying to keep busy, to avoid the inevitable loneliness he had to face. But when the time came, he put on the flashiest, most impressive show in years, perhaps in his whole life - what he'd lost in flexibility, he made up for in skill and grace. The kittens' eyes were large, full of wonder, and it reminded the magician so much of his younger years, when he discovered his own powers and relied on them fully for the first time, to get the Old Deutoronomy back...and Rum Tum Tugger's faith in him, that unshakable belief that Mistoffelees wouldn't fail him, couldn't do so. The faith that Tugger had in him till the very end. _Watch me_ , he thought, finishing his performance with an upward gesture, as if reaching towards the Heavyside layer. _I'm keeping my promise. And I trust you to keep yours_. 

From then on, everything was a blur. First, an astonished silence. Then clapping of paws, shouting, cheering, pats on his shoulders and many, oh so many embraces. He recognized Victoria's voice among all others, praising him and sniffling a bit, because she too had no doubts. And when Munkustrap, fulfilling Old Deutoronomy's role of the tribe's leader before the newest reincarnation of his father returned, made his way to Mistoffelees and pulled him into a hug, the heavy feeling he'd been experiencing for the last year lifted, finally, to be replaced with a flutter of hope. 

Ascending towards the glittering staircase to the Heavyside layer, he smiled at the teary Jellicle tribe, breathed in and, as he exhaled, created tens of floating sparks that would last till the dawn, as a final present for all his friends and loved ones. "This is not a goodbye," he said in a quiet, contemplative voice. "We just won't be seeing each other for a bit. Be well, everyone. And now...presto!" 

And with that, he was gone. 

* * *

Some time later, Jemima and Etcetera, now the tribe's matriarchs, were watching a group of kittens from various litters playing together. They were still rather small and clumsy, but their personalities were starting to show in their interactions. 

Jemima nudged Etcetera's side and pointed to two male kittens who seemed, from the day they were first introduced, inseparable. "Say, Etcetera...don't you think these kittens are strangely familiar? The way this one carries himself...and the other one sneaks around..."

Etcetera didn't immediately reply and watched the two instead. One of the kittens seemed to have the attention of all females and quite blatantly enjoyed it, but kept watching his friend all the time. And whenever the shier kitten seemed a least bit jealous, the popular one immediately left the group of his admirers and started playing, nuzzling or licking the other one's ears in apology. "Well, they did say they would come back together," she shrugged and exchanged understanding smiles with the other cat. 

Stretching her back, Jemima kept on watching the unusual pair. "I wonder..." 

Just at that moment, the smaller kitten sneezed. A cloud of glitter flew from his nose, directly into the face of the other cat. Jemima and Etcetera froze, expecting a fight or at least some sobbing or complaining, but nothing of the sort happened. The glittery kitten only wiped his cheeks and forehead, examined the glitter on his paws and, as if he'd seen the most wonderful thing in the world, his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Then he pounced at the startled smaller kitten and enthusiastically rubbed most of the sparkles into his fur. 

Etcetera shook her head in amusement. "Nope. Nothing to wonder about." 

**Author's Note:**

> If you know me, you definitely expected some angst to come up sooner or later, but I can never go fully sad without a shred of hope. So there, a new life for our favorite Jellicles. As always, comments are very much appreciated, they keep me writing. Thank you for taking your time to read the story!


End file.
